Tara over at 4th Grade Frolics shared a big truth this morning. Well I don't know if you'd call it a truth, but it wasn't a free teaching product, or a link to a product for sale on TpT, or a lesson plan, or even about anything in her classroom. It was about how when school had started in the fall she felt like maybe she had lost a small piece of herself - that part that we as teachers seem to put first. Aha. I felt so validated reading this. Maybe I am not a bad person. Maybe I am not a bad teacher. Maybe I just, somewhere along the way, lost a little bit of myself.
I've thought a lot about it this year - the stress, the exhaustion, the physical pain. I can't say I used to be calm. I don't know that me and calm ever mixed. However, there were things that made life calmer - walking, swimming, yoga. What happened to that? If I'm to make excuses I can answer that - time, money (gym), etc. We could go around in circles. The truth though is that it is all just a vicious cycle.
So we tell ourselves, maybe tomorrow. Well, tomorrow is here. And if I'm to be honest, I couldn't tell you the last time I've gone for a walk, or swum a lap, and sadly I can tell you the last time I took a yoga class (it's far to long to be mentioned because I know the month and year my friend who taught it moved away).
Yet, if I took an hour or two out of every afternoon (or even just two or three times a week) to go do one of these things, might I feel better? Maybe. Maybe the 25 pounds I've lost would be for healthy reasons and not other reasons. Might a little bit of my creativity come back to me? Goodness I can only hope!
Gosh I miss my creativity. I used to say I was going to create so many items for my classroom. Now I look at all of yours and have no clue where to start. Seriously no clue.
In terms of other years, emotionally, financially, and physically 2013 hasn't been too bad. True there have been some moments that could have been better. There've been a few months where I have still lived paycheck to paycheck (not nearly as many as in the past - and the point is, I'm doing it). In the grand scheme of things, even my dr. visits have been far and few less. Even the doctors visits come with taking care of yourself and being your advocate. I sit there with my paper full of medications and questions - I am not ashamed. Goodness knows we pay enough to insurance these days that we all deserve more than 5 minutes.
We can use new year's in whatever ways we see fit - December 31st, or birthdays, or school years, or the beginning of football season, or baseball season (this obviously depends in which part of the country you live). It doesn't have to wait for a certain time or just one time a year, but we can't put it off either. The point is we have to take care of ourselves. No one else is going to. You can't put it off til tomorrow or the next day. Before you know it you're almost a month away from turning 32 and still renting a one bedroom apartment ;)
So my 1 for ME is 1 hour just for me every day - taking a walk, watching my General Hospital (guilty pleasure - love me or leave me), being crafty, spending time with friends, but absolutely nothing school related. It will be a challenge for sure. Maybe y'all can hold me to it.
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